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Behavior Tips for Meetings with Your “Ex”

In the United States, someone gets divorced every 10 to 13 seconds. In fact, in the time it took you to read to this sentence, someone got divorced. Unfortunately, the process of divorce usually does require multiple meetings with your ex-wife or ex-husband, especially if you’re taking a collaborative approach. Collaborative divorce allows you to solve disputes respectfully and out of court with the help of a divorce lawyer; however, it can sometimes be difficult to maintain a cooperative atmosphere when meeting with your ex-spouse and your respective attorneys. If you follow these tips for meeting with your ex, you’ll be able to make the process of your divorce run as quickly and smoothly as possible.

Meeting with Your Ex

If you follow these tips for meeting with your ex, you’ll be able to make the process of your divorce run as quickly and smoothly as possible.

Tips for a Respectful Meeting with Your Ex

  • Focus on solving the problem. During your marriage, you and your spouse tackled problems together. Try to think of divorce as one more problem you are trying to work out together. It may not be easy, but it will help you maintain a cooperative attitude.
  • Focus on constructive solutions. Recriminations and emotional outbursts will not help you reach your goals. Focus on your goals and try to offer effective suggestions for reaching them.
  • Focus on respecting each other. Sarcasm, criticism, inflammatory speech, angry outbursts — none of these will help you solve your problems or reach your goals. They will only serve to escalate emotions and make cooperation impossible. If your emotions start to spiral out of control, remove yourself from the meeting until you calm down. Collaborative attorneys and the collaborative team are specially trained to foster a cooperative atmosphere that is respectful to both parties.
  • Focus on listening. Truly listen to what your spouse says. Try to understand what matters most to her and see things through his or her eyes. Mutual understanding is a necessary step to solving problems in a way that meets the needs of both parties.
  • Focus on the future. Dwelling on the past and allowing yourself to become mired in emotional pain and blame, while human, will prevent you from moving forward. Accept responsibility for your feelings, but don’t allow them to govern your actions.

If you and your ex-spouse can work through the issues of your divorce together while maintaining an atmosphere of cooperation, you will both heal more quickly and be able to move forward with your separate lives. If you have children, divorce will be immensely less damaging if both parents are able to work together amicably.


Hiring a lawyer should be the first thing you do when encountering any legal matter, not a last resort. Whether you’re thinking about a separation or divorce or have been charged with a crime, been injured in an accident, or your civil rights have been violated, you need to first know your rights and your options. Consulting a lawyer first can actually save you both time and money in the long run. Call Attorney Michael A. Mastracci today at 410-869-3400 or visit us on the web. Be sure to check us out on FacebookTwitterLinkedInGoogle+Pinterest, and YouTube as well!