Divorce can be one of the most devastating events in a person’s life. It can be acrimonious, ugly and hurtful: but it doesn’t need to be. Divorce can be a road to positive and healthy change. Collaborative divorce can offer an opportunity for a new and happier life.
To ensure a healthy divorce, you and your family must accomplish three essential tasks:
- Let go
- Develop new social ties
- Redefine parental roles
Letting Go Lets You Heal from Your Divorce
Letting go is absolutely critical if you are to heal from the divorce and build a new and happy life. It can be hard to let go of the attachments built during marriage. You may yearn for the love, caring, comfort, and loyalty your former spouse provided in your life. The process of uncoupling physically and emotionally can engender strong feelings of anger, resentment, hurt, and frustration. The constant battling of these powerful but opposite emotions can create a debilitating feeling of ambivalence as your emotions seesaw between elation and depression. This ambivalence — the alternate longing for the comfortable and familiar opposed to the craving for the new and exciting — is normal.
It is harder to let go emotionally than physically. Some people still cling to their former spouse 5 and 10 years after the divorce. Without emotional detachment, it is not possible to develop new healthy relationships.
Men, in particular, have a difficult time letting go emotionally, particularly those who were dependent on their spouse or jealous. They may become very depressed and require professional help to recover from divorce. If after divorce you continue to feel anger and resentment, you may need help letting go. Passionate negative feelings, as much as positive feelings of love and caring, indicate that a strong emotional attachment remains.
What about the children? Children must also let go, not of their parents, but of the family structure. Letting go can be extremely difficult for children and they may fantasize about getting their parents back together. You have to help them accept the reality of two households, two sets of rules, two ways of doing things, but only one parent in each home. They will need repeated reassurance that they still have the love of both parents.
MIKE THE LAWYER HELPS GOOD PEOPLE THROUGH BAD TIMES.
Hiring a lawyer should be the first thing you do when encountering any legal matter, not a last resort. Whether you’re thinking about a separation or divorce or have been charged with a crime, been injured in an accident, or your civil rights have been violated, you need to first know your rights and your options. Consulting a lawyer first can actually save you both time and money in the long run.