Are you giving mediation a try before deciding on a divorce? Many divorce lawyers suggest mediation before a couple decides whether or not to finalize their divorce. A lot of times, with the help of a skilled counselor, a couple will be able to dig into the core of their problems and learn how to communicate better, essentially saving their marriage. If you are in the process of mediation with you partner, it may get difficult at times. There will be times when your partner doesn’t communicate or cooperate as well as they should. Keep in mind that mediation is a difficult process, but if the relationship is worth saving, then it’s worth putting the time and effort into marriage mediation. You will have to deal with a lot of strong emotions during mediation, and sometimes it’s easy to just let things get out of hand. Be strong and work your way towards a resolution by keeping in mind these cardinal marriage mediation rules.
Do you know the reason so many people have trouble remembering names? It’s because we are focused on telling the person our own name, rather than listening to the person tell us their name. This kind of passive listening happens during our daily lives as well, especially during an argument or during marriage mediation. There’s no time when it’s more important to actively listen to your partner than when you are in marriage mediation. Try to focus your thoughts on what your partner is saying, rather than how you are going to respond. This way, when you do respond, you’ll be able to really address the issues, rather than gloss over the problems and repeat yourself.
Similar to how you shouldn’t be focusing on your response while your partner is talking, you should also not interrupt them to defend yourself or to “correct” them. Allow them to finish speaking, even urge them to open up more. If your partner knows you are listening to them and that you value their voice, it will be easier for them to talk to you about difficult matters. Also avoid using the word “you” when it is your turn to speak, because the word “you” can sometimes be interpreted as accusatory. So, instead of saying “You really hurt me when you said that”, say “When you said that, it made me feel very hurt.” Shifting the focus on your own emotions rather than on who’s to blame will help you and your partner to communicate better.
If you try to follow these guidelines and your mediation still doesn’t work, then it’s time to hire a divorce lawyer. But if you think the relationship is salvageable, don’t jump straight to divorce. Try mediation first.
MIKE THE LAWYER HELPS GOOD PEOPLE THROUGH BAD TIMES.
Hiring a lawyer should be the first thing you do when encountering any legal matter, not a last resort. Whether you’re thinking about a separation or divorce or have been charged with a crime, been injured in an accident, or your civil rights have been violated, you need to first know your rights and your options. Consulting a lawyer first can actually save you both time and money in the long run.