Marriage mediation can make a difference
Attempting to Save Your Marriage Before Finalizing Divorce
When we get married we do it with the intention to stay married forever. Despite Maryland currently ranking as one of the states with the lowest divorce rates in the country (10%), divorce remains a grim reality for many couples. In some instances, divorce is the only remaining option for couples with irreconcilable differences while, for others, all hope is not lost. a great number of divorce lawyers will suggest mediation before the decision is made whether to finalize a divorce or not. It often happens that a couple is able to identify the root of their problems and resolve it to such an extent that their marriage is saved. If a couple is not entirely sure whether divorce is the right option for them, mediation and marriage counselling could make a world of difference.
Is there a difference between counselling and mediation?
Despite many people being of the belief that marriage counselling and mediation are the same, they aren’t. Marriage counselling is generally performed by a variety of professionals that are trained in various fields such as social work, psychology, and religion. A marriage counsellor will aim to diagnose relationship problems through analysis before treating them. The counsellor will help the couple to understand how their behavior is affecting their marriage, thus lessening marital conflict. Marital mediation has a very different approach whereby it focuses on dispute resolution. Mediation revolves around the identification of conflictive behavior and then resolving it accordingly.
Are there other ways to revive a flagging relationship?
While both marriage counselling and meditation boast an impressive track record, there are other ways to resolve conflict and save a failing marriage. Sometimes the smallest efforts are the ones with the greatest impact, allowing for partners to reconnect and even fall deeply in love with each other all over again. Here are a few things to consider to help you in your efforts to revive a struggling relationship:
Try new things
Did you know that boredom is one of the biggest causes of conflict in a marriage? According to research conducted at the University of Michigan, being bored with your marriage can undermine closeness, which in turn can reduce marital satisfaction. The simplest way to relieve boredom and to reignite the passion in your marriage is to try new things together as a couple. If you have always wanted to take up hiking or dancing or even surfing, now is the time to do it. While attempting bold and exciting things is a sure way to make your relationship more interesting, making smaller changes to your lifestyle can be equally beneficial. If you haven’t been on a date in years, implement a monthly date night. Romance is a vital part of every marriage and what better way to revive it than by enjoying an intimate night out with your spouse.
Aim to complain without the blame
A lot of couples spend an alarming amount of time playing the blame game. First and foremost it is important to remember that although you don’t have the power to change someone else’s actions, you do control your own reaction to them. Many couples enter a vicious circle of criticizing and blaming each other instead of talking about a problem. If your partner does something that upsets you take a deep breath and air your complaint calmly. Instead of saying ‘you are irresponsible and don’t care about my feelings’ try a different approach such as ‘I worry about you when you stay out longer than what you said you would. Please let me know next time if you are going to be late’. Taking this approach can prevent a lot of ugly arguments from arising and can end up making a world of difference in your marriage.
Before going through with a divorce it is important to make sure you have tried all other avenues of conflict resolution. Divorce should be the final option, not the first one. If you do find that you are left with no choice but to divorce, try to make it as amicable as possible, and aim to find a legal representative that is sensitive to the situation and has your best interests at heart, especially when there are children involved.